Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
