I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
