Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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