in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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