I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
