I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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