so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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