So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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