you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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