Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize