So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
