I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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