How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
