He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
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he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
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My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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