sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
