Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
