she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
