Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
