Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I want to have your abortion
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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