i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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