May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
