Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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