Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
