I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
