So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
