i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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