i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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