he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Green mimosas i think yes
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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