I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
