so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
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It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
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I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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