Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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