At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
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i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
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Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT