New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?