But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
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She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
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You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.