She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?