Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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