You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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