Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
