It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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