i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
