Your dad touched me again.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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