it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
