youre lurking in front of me
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
