I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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