We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
