I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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