No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just found puke in my bra..
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
