Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
