If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
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No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
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THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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