I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
