So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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