I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm at about main and main street
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
