Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
