We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
my poor anus
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Randomize
