Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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