smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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