Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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