If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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