i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
